True Stories from the Savvy Surveyor   (honestly)

6 — Human Flypaper!

The following conversation did not happen in a vacant space in an outdoor shopping center in sunny southern California... but it almost did.

Operator: "This is the 911 operator, what is your emergency?"

Me: "Hello this is Rex Bernard. I am stuck to the floor and cannot move. Please send help!"

Operator: "Sir did I hear you say that you are stuck to the floor?"

Me: "Yes Ma'am. Both feet are stuck down. I had one hand stuck down for awhile but I got it loose. Now it has glue all over it and the only hand that I can still use is the one holding my phone. PLEASE send help!"

Operator: "Sir if this is a practical joke, may I remind you that it is unlawful to tie up the 911 emergency phone lines."

Me: "I promise you Ma'am that I'm not yanking your chain. There was a demolition crew in here, earlier, that sprayed water on the glue down carpet to get it to release from the floor. They got all the carpet pulled up but now the sub-floor is one big room of human flypaper and I am stuck down tight. PLEASE SEND HELP!"

Sticky ShoeThe only part of this story that is not true is the phone call to 911. Need I say more? Some days in a surveyor's life can really... stuck?